Deranged Bunny

 

Dear Mister Easter Bunny, 

Hi how are you? I was just wondering if you could take a photo of yourself on the camera please. And not to be rude or anything, but people say, and there is this movie about what I am about to say called Hop. Does Easter Bunny, you, digest and drop jelly beans out of your backside? Because if it is true can you please do it.

PS You are the best

I will also leave you a carrot

Jack xxoo

 

Jack, who mostly behaves like a world weary ten year old bad ass gangsta rapper, decided to write the Easter Bunny a note.  This suggests that perhaps he still is a child under that tough and cool exterior and that he may still hold onto the vague hope that myths such as EB and Santa might just be real.

However, his innocent and sweet intentions were set to ruin upon the discovery that his seven year old brother had already marked the other side of the page with the following depiction of me:

That's me! Flipping the bird. Naked. Leaking breasts. Dilated pupils. Definitely not a vajazzle in sight. Let's face it, looking pretty unhinged and deranged.

Jack and I were equally disturbed by the discovery of this image and for entirely different reasons. We did however both agree that Easter Bunny probably wouldn't like it and that it might be a good idea to re-write the note on a clean sheet of paper.

The kids discovered this morning that EB doesn't drop jelly beans but bullets instead. It's an Aussie thing.

I've discovered what I really look like through the eyes of my children and have been considering a course of therapy to recover some semblance of sanity and positive self image.